My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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