Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize