But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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