I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
