i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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