Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You are a genius and a whore.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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