You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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