im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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