Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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