"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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