College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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