my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Randomize
