Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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