all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have aggressive nipples.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
