Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
