he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
