you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
