They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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