I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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