I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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