I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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