the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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