smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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