This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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