I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
