youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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