dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
