I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
