the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How does one acquire holy water?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
