All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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