So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
party gras won. party gras always wins.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
