If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
