Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
This is not my ceiling
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Are we still banned from the library?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
