he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
