so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
