I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My feet surprised me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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