you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
