Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
