don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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