once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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