who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
