You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
