That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
