just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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