how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
