You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
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promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
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Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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