Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize