I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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