How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
