Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i need some magic done to my vagina
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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