And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
