I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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