Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize