During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
they're like a gay fantastic four
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
