i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
