the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
