Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
