dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
