high people should be assigned attendants
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
