Dual....:-)
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
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Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Every concussion has its silver lining
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
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She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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