I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
