white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
