is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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