He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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