I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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