Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize